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What To Write In Rude Valentine’s Cards

What To Write In Rude Valentine’s Cards

Naughty and rude Valentine’s Day cards are becoming increasingly popular amongst friends, lovers, and couples with a sense of humour, as they are a great way to share love and affection for your loved ones by giving them something to laugh about. Rude Valentine’s cards come in a spectrum of rudeness, such as comical and slightly inappropriate jokes, all the way to very raunchy and naughty jokes for your lover. They also come in an abundance of fun designs to choose from, such as these wacky and hilarious rude Valentine’s cards from Boomf.

But what is a fun card without an equally fun message? Buying an inappropriate card for your lover as a gag gift is a great way to brighten up someone’s day, but you can further amplify the laughter by including your unique message for the recipient inside! Deciding what to write in a rude Valentine’s Day card can be challenging, however, as you might not be able to think of a fun message to include that matches the theme of the card. Therefore, this article will provide some fun little example messages that you can accompany alongside your selected rude Valentine’s Day card.


Before You Start…

Hold your pen! Before writing a rude or inappropriate gag message on Valentine’s card for your loved one, you should make sure that it is appropriate for who you are giving it to. Make sure that:

What To Write In Rude Valentine’s Cards




I'm so excited to prepare so many #recipes of #drinks, #cocktails, #Moonshine, #food - I'm ready to get down to work! #Moonshinerecipe

  • You believe the recipient will appreciate the joke and find it funny.
  • The joke is not insensitive or crosses any boundaries.
  • The joke won’t make the recipient feel uncomfortable.

Jokes are meant to be funny, even rude ones! So, make sure that the recipient will also find them funny before you begin writing.


What to Write in Rude Valentine’s Messages

Rude Valentine’s messages usually revolve around something sexual or promiscuous, from light-heartedly rude to downright steamy and naughty. Therefore, when creating a message, make sure it matches the degree of rudeness that you wish to deliver.

The following are some generic messages for rude Valentine’s cards that can be used for any recipient, in varying degrees of rudeness from least to worst:

  • What is the difference between a calendar and you on Valentine’s Day? A calendar has a date, and you don’t!
  • I think of you even when I’m not horny.
  • You make me feel like a unicorn – wild and horny.
  • We are like hot chocolate and marshmallows. You are hot, and I want to be on top of you.
  • You are my favourite cardio workout.

Your huge willy is the reason i tolerate your unbearable personality

Rude Valentine’s Messages for Him

If your lucky recipient is him, then you could choose a rude Valentine’s Day message that is gender specific such as the following two examples:

  • Roses are red, violets are blue. I get wet, just thinking of you.
  • You make my legs want to socially distance.


Rude Valentine’s Messages for Her

Similarly, if your recipient is her, then you can get some inspiration on what to write using the following two examples:

  • I like your style; I like your class. But most of all, I like your ass!
  • Roses are red, violets are blue. I get hard, just thinking of you.

Whether you are planning to or have already purchased one, deciding what to write in rude Valentine’s cards can be a challenge some may face. We hope this article has provided some insight into the possible types of messages that you can include in your rude Valentine’s card, and we hope the tips on how to do so have been helpful.



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